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Monday, December 27, 2010

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Well, Christmas is over. Presents are unwrapped, family visited and getting for a new year.

My friend Scott had his eye surgery and is on road to recovery. My grandson is still needing prayers and will need them for months to come. He is a strong little guy.

This is the time of year that I reflect about the past year - the good, the bad and the indifferent. The things that I accomplished, the things I did not accomplish and works in progress. It is also the time that I will make my goals for 2011.

We have so much to be thankful for. As long as we keep our eyes on God then we will be able to accomplish the task. I did not say it would be easy, but the task can be done. I hope all of you have your eyes on God and that you are able to accomplish your goals for this next year. May it be full of blessings and goodwill. May we all pass the tests that we create. And may we all recongize the opportunties that are presented to us.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas season

Well I missed posting at Thanksgiving, so will get a head start on Christmas. Can't believe that it is here already! AN exciting time of year.

I now weigh about 138 pounds and holding. Still having numbness in fingers and tingling in toes ,salt taste in my mouth and ringing in my ears. But my energy is good and spirits are pretty good. Still have bad days but fewer than before. I have so much to be thankful for. I have friends who are going through cancer as I write this today. Scott from San Angelo is in Boston for treatment of cancer behind his eye. Please say a special prayer for this man. He has a wife and children (under 12) and is going to need all the support he can get over the next few months.

But you know God has a way of using us. Every day I seem to be helping folks that need something, whether it is a few dollars or a listening ear or words of encouragement. Is that what we are supposed to do, help each other. In todays time, everyone has forgotten about slowing down and helping others. It's sad that some only do it at Christmas. I think God wants us to do this 24/7! It doesn't have to be much. I find myself at peace after these good deeds. I only hope the benefactor gets as much comfort as I do.

Family is all coming home so will not be on road much. I plan on enjoying these holidays with my wife, kids and grandkids and friends.

Life is always throwing a curve at us. Are we going to just stop because it is not what we want or are we going to continue on and do the good things God wants from us. Each of us has a special gift. Are you using yours? I know I don't use mine enough. A good new year resolution.

Merry Christmas everyone.....May God Bless each of you......

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Holiday season

Halloween has come and gone and now Thanksgiving is here upon us. Today is Veterans Day and my Boy Scout Troop puts out over 500 flags on this day and 5 other national holidays during the year. This year today seems to be extra special. Alot of media attention for today to honor those soldiers who have served to protect our freedom and our way of life. My hat goes off to each and every soldier. Our troop is supporting the 176th Engineering Bridage this season. If you have time, give a small gift to a soldier. Even a card means alot to these guys. We enjoy our rights because they give up their holidays to make sure we get our holidays.

As for me, I am doing pretty good. Still have issues with my shoulders. Guess it will be with me from now on. Just have to work through it. But the good news is that my last cat scan found no cancer. Also had prostrate and colon exam and those also came up clean. So other than getting old I am pretty good shape. I still have tingly feet and my fingers are a little numb and my taste buds are still trying to make a comeback, but hey, it could be alot worse!

I would ask each of you to say a prayer for one of my grandsons, Walker. He is having additional medical problems. He is an energic 4 year old and loves life in spite of his problems. It's a lesson we can all learn from in that in spite of his condition he is happy (most of the time) and a joy to be around.

As I get ready to go into this holiday season, I have been reflecting my life the last couple of years. I am here for a reason. I still don't know why but God has a plan for me and I may never know if I have passed the test. So each day, I get out of bed (roll out of bed is more like it!) and approach each day as a new opporunity to help someone, whether it be physically, mentally or through prayer. My patience is alot better now. This last Sunday was the first day in a couple of months that I just relaxed (well, almost). Nothing had to get done. I have alot to get done but took the time to smell the roses, to feel the velvet of the rose and to admire the beauty of God's work. Do I slow down enough? The answer is probably no, but I hope that my activities are doing God's work and that I am making a difference in someone's life.

Going camping this weekend. Have about 20 boys and adults going to Big Spring to camp, put up bird houses, have a flag retirement ceremony and have a campfire. It will be a little chilly but it will be a good weekend to help these young men learn something about themselves and for me to learn more about me. I think the greatest pleasure in life is knowing that you make a difference in someone's life, however small. There is no reward, just a piece of mind that I have helped someone this day to make their life a little better.

Hope all of you have a great day and great week. God Bless Each of YOU this day! Steve

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mid month report

Yesterday, I thought I would have a routine day at the hsopital having a ct scan. I spent the better part of the day at the hospital as my blood work showed that my kidneys were not functioning right. So spent the day being hydrated so I could have scan. Just need to drink more water. Evidently I have not been drinking enough. Well, since then, I am wearing the floor out going to the bathroom!! I get the test results next week at the doctors.

Caught a cold or something from my grandkids. Been fighting it for over a week now. Hopefully, it is minor and will run its course in the next few days!

Been told that my body is getting old. Have problems with my shoulders! So buy stock in the Aleve company! Will be using it to control the inflammation in my shoulders! For those of you who are in the same age boat as I am, it's hec getting old. For those who are younger and have not experienced this wonderful !!@@)) age, your time is coming!!

Life has a way of throwing curves at us. It is how we handle those curves that defines our character. And the best character is having that complete trust in God. And those curves just strengthen my faith in him. It just goes to show that we are not in control of our life, God is! It's sad that people have to find God when the going gets rough and tend to forget the blessings he gives us when times are good. Let us all remember that he is always with us in bad times AND in good times. I have gotten busy and have not slowed down to smell the roses until yesterday. It was just a reminder that I am getting too busy. Hope all you wonderful people have a great day and great weekend.

Monday, September 27, 2010

A sad day

First of all, I want everyone to know that as of this date, I am free of cancer. Just finished going backpacking with 40 pounds on my back and came through with flying colors! I couldn't say that within a few hours after it was over, but was not in near the soreness I thought I would be after nearly two years from a backpack trip.As of this date, I am scheduled to go to Philmont and backpack for 12 days in 2012.

I now have arthritis in my shoulders. The pain is bad at times and am taking lots of asprin to keep the pain down. My range of motion is not as good as I would like but am working through it.

I have a CT scan in the middle of October and numerous visits with doctors over the next 4 weeks. I have been out of therapy for 1 year and 3 months by this Sunday. I thank God and ask for your blessings through him for your support in this endeavor. After having cancer, it is always in the back of my mind and all my aches and pains are a constant reminder that I had cancer. It is something that I will never forget about.

This day is sad as a friend of mine just found out she has cancer. She is going to MD Anderson next week for a second opinion. Please keep her in your prayers. She is in for a long ordeal. She supported and prayed for me during my time and now it is my turn. I'm glad I am here for her to talk to if she needs the time. She is upbeat and is turning this over to God. I believe it is the only way to beat this. It is the only way to live, but turning it over totally is tough, as least for me. It is something I work on each day. As I slow down to smell those roses, I have to trust that God will continue to provide for me so I can slow down. And so far he has.

The power of prayer is evident in my life that it works! I ask you to pray for this lady as she starts through her ordeal.

Enjoy the fall! It should be a great one!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Another day - another doctor

Hope all had a good Labor Day weekend. We stayed home and worked on fireplace. All I have left is to grout and run wiring. But will not be using any time soon with the temps in the 90's. Though fall was suppose to start rolling in after Labor Day!!

This month will be going to doctors every few days. Have gone the last two days to have blood drawn for a multiple of tests. Then starting next week, I go to doctors every week for the next 4 to 6 weeks. Just check ups. Sometimes it is hard to figure out if I am just old and hurting or something is wrong! Any of ya'll have that problem?

Taste is getting somewhat better. Weigh about 138 pounds. Energy level is getting better but the recovery period seems to get longer. Could it be that age has something to do with this??

Going backpacking this weekend if my grandson gets healthy. Walker has been having a bad week. So bad he is going to hospital if he does not respond to treatment. Doctor says he is but slowly. Please keep Walker in your prayers. So we will see. Have not been backpacking since before all this started. To think that I was going to backpack at Philmont 10 days after my last radiation. Little did I know what I was in for!! Really looking forward to it. Have to trim my weigh load down to match my new weight!

My Boy Scout Troop is 25 years old this year. My Troop surprised me with a plaque and award for staying around. It made me tear up. Can't cry in front of boys! Yea right! It was very moving and really made me feel good inside.

I can't pray enough for all those I know who are sick. We just have to trust in God that he will make it all ok in his time. Will let you know the results of all my visits in the next few weeks. It is raining tonight so will be nice and cool. Yea!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

lost a mom

Another school year has started. Even though we have no kids in school it is still exciting as our oldest grandson started kindergarten yesterday. He really liked the first day but when he found out he had to go today, he was less than excited. He had fun yesterday but decided he wanted to stay home today. Didn't see the need to going every day!!

Went to my heart doctor yesterday and my ekg was good. I have been having pain in my shoulders but upon checking Dr Miller thinks it is tendonitis. So will keep on going and doing what I do and that is to live each day as it comes. It is hectic but am trying to slow down and enjoy my loved ones. Granted it is hard to do, but feel it is necessary to smell those roses!

Enjoyed my camp out this past weekend. Went to Buffalo Trail Scout Ranch and just camped. Had a monster rain shower Saturday afternoon but it was a good weekend. At BTSR there is a flag pole with plaques on them. My name was on one of them which was donated by someone who wanted to remain nameless. Needless to say, I am very humbled that someone would honor me in this way. I just try to help kids to be part of life and be able to deal with it.

This past Monday I went to a funeral for one of my "moms". I was very fortunate to have several "moms" in my life and on this day I paid my respects to Mary Jamieson. Growing up I had several 'moms' that influenced me in my life. While I may not have been in contact with them, they have and are always on my mind as I go through life. While I was growing up, they listened to my problems, gave me advise, corrected me, and guided me. I was fortunate to have several of these wonderful women so help me. I cling and think about the others in my life and thank God for putting them in my life. Life is about touching other people, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst, but always knowing God has put us together for a purpose. As we grow up, we move to the next chapter in life using the experiences learned for our next adventure. My "moms" took their time away from their loved ones to help me, to guide me. And I am so thankful God put them into my life! I have several "moms" to go along with my mom. Did you have any "moms"? Have you thought about how they helped your life? I know there is a special place for them in Heaven. I just hope I have done half as well as they have done. Thank your mom or moms soon.

Hope all of you still reading this blog have a great week and may God continue to bless each of you and will continue to bless this nation...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Dog days of summer

Middle of August and it is hot. Hopefully rain will be in our area this week!

My little Walker Man ( second grandson ) is a medical mystery according to doctors at Mayo Clinic. He is on God's time and we have to pray and trust in God that he will be around for a long time. He is such a joy to watch and knowing how much pain he is in at times! Please continue to pray not only for Walker but for this whole family as they continue their journey through life.

I am down to 134 pounds as of this morning. The ringing in my ears is constant as is the tingling of my feet. I am eating, of which not much has taste. But I am here and doing what I hope God wants. You just never know when you are going to make a difference in someone's life and you may not even know it! But God does know so we have to trust that we are making a difference!

My bathroom project is still close to being done. Have drawer fronts to build and then to paint and install. I have set a new goal of having done by Labor Day. Going camping this weekend.

Business has been pretty good. I did not realize how bad it was last year until I started working on my taxes. You know God is in your life when you see past results. He has carried me. I'm sure he is carrying alot of us now. We have so much to be thankful for and most of the time, we don't realize it! As we smell those roses, let us remember that God is always there with us. We just have to keep the door of our heart open.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week. Enjoy your loved ones. Enjoy your daily walk in life. Don't let the little things bother you. Trust that God will take care of you. After all, we are on his time, not ours. Have a great one...... Steve

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Back from summer camp

Went to the hill country near Kerrville for Boy Scout Summer camp. Was hot and humid but it was great to be with the kids. Had a great group of boys and adults. It has taken me over a week to recope from camp. Had about six hours or less of sleep each night. Typical summer camp. Good news is I did not lose any weight.

I am asking for prayers for Jim Stewart (Lucille's dad). He is having some heart problems. Walker (grandson) is going to Mayo Clinic Aug 9 for evaluation. Hopefully, they can find out problems he is having and get them fixed!

Only a few more weeks of summer and then school starts up! Days go faster and faster it seems. It seems to get harder and harder to get everything done each day. So here I am writing this blog!! LOL

About finished with major home repair and that is rework of master bath. Hopefully this weekend I will get finished except for a little trim work. And then its off to another project. Home ownership is great!!

I hope everyone is having a good summer. Hope everyone is able to slow down a little and smell those roses!

Friday, July 2, 2010

One year ago....

It was axactly one year ago I was in a car on the way home after my last radiation treatment and hydration treatment. Little did I know that I would be sick for another two months. But on this day in the early morning, I had finished my radiation treatment. The guys gave me a silver cross (they give everyone this) and my mask when I finished. I thought I would be able to click my heels and really get after it. Did not happen!
But what a difference a year makes. Today, I weight 135 pounds, have pretty good energy, am reasonably healthy. I eat because I have to. Food taste comes and goes. My immune system is still not where it should be so even a summer cold takes weeks to get over now.
My feet still tingle, I still have ringing in my ears. But I am here to do what God wills me. I live each day to the fullest and try to slow down to smell the roses. My energy level also dicates as to when I have to slow down!
Late next week I will be going to summer camp with my Troop. Going to the hill country. It will be a trying week, I'm sure, but will enjoy it.
Have been remodeling bathroom and working on my home repair list. Making some inroads. Owning a home means constant maintenance, but at least one can see the results.
I thank God for my health. I have family and friends who are sick. So I count my blessings each day and pray that God will heal these people.

2009 was a year I most certainly will not forget. It is funny how one forgets about the bad times. Today I have thought about all the times I was sick and in the hospital. I think about all the people who have sat with me, or done work for me, or filled in during my absence. When you are sick, then you find out who your friends are! I found out that prayer is indeed powerful. For I do not think I would be here today, if it were not for all the prayers I have received from ya'll.
Life is all about what we do for others, not for ourselves. It is about making a small positive difference in another person's life. It is about friends from long ago coming to the aid of others in time of need. Life is about helping each other. In today's world of me, me, me, it is rare for people to stop or slow down to help others. But in my case, I had people all over the world who stopped for a moment each to pray for me. So I have be truly blessed this past year. I have not begun to or will ever be able to repay the indebtedness to each of you, but I prayer that each of you are blessed by God each day.

2010 has been a year of recovery for me, for my family. Life goes on and does not stop when one is sick. So as my health recovers, so does my business, so does my family life. When I get short I think about 2009 and what others have given up for me and I just chill and relax and give what I need to help.

Hope you have smelled the roses this year. God Bless each and everyone of you. Steve

Monday, May 24, 2010


May 22 was my 60th birthday. Considering all the events of a year ago, I am grateful to be celebrating it. Spent the day working on master bath. A shower leak has become a full blown redo.

I have pushed myself the past couple of weeks with work and home repairs. Needless to say, I am not back to 100%. But don't know of any other way to get energy back than to get with the life of living. Just have to take a little longer to get reenergized! The fact I am even able to do these things is a tribute to God and to all the prayers given on my behalf.

I cannot over emphaize the power of prayer. For folks who not believe in it, I feel sorry for. I am what I am today through the power of prayer. I continue to ask for blessing for each of you each day.

I am maintaining my current weight of 135 pounds. Even got up to 137 for about 24 hours!! Food still does not taste good for the most part. Trying to take a spoonful of honey each day. It is said to bring back the taste buds faster. We'll see. It is worth trying. My feet are still tingling and massage them on a regular basis. My fingers still have some tingling although it is rare now. I have graduated to short sleeve shirts and one less blanket at night. I started working out some in hopes of improving my endurance and energy.

Last year at this time I was finishing up my final chemo and about half way through radiation. I have my radiation mask by my office door that serves as a constant reminder of (as if I needed one) what I went through. It's funny how one forgets about the sickness part after awhile. But when I sit and think about the process, it all comes back. I don't do that very often. No sense in it. Life is about tomorrow and moving forward. History is to learn from. And I thank God for carrying me through all the tough times. And I will thank him for all the good times. Too often we do not give credit to God for the good times. We tend to think we do the good things ourselves. We are deceiving ourselves when that happens. God is with us always, both in good times and bad times. I'm just glad I have let him into my life. I know my faith has increases multiple folds this last year.

Hope eveyone has a great week. I know I will!! Later gang.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

just another day

Well, I had my first official haircut yesterday. Lucille said I looked like a hippie!! And to think that a year ago I was without hair!

Weight is now 130 pounds. If I drop below that I will be in trouble. Problem is that food really doesn't interest me and needless to say the taste is not there. The hotter the better!

I finally do not have to wear my beanie to bed every night! Still cover up so maybe by the end of the summer I will not have to have 3 blankets on me every night!

As I sat on one of the benches that an Eagle Scout candidate made for the Hope House Cancer Home, I reflected on the past year especially this time last year. It was comforting to sit there knowing that I made it through with the help of doctors, nurses and the power of prayer from all those who prayed for me. Every time I go past Allison Cancer Center I offer up a prayer for those who are there. There isn't enough praying for all those folks.

The day is hot and the wind is blowing. A typical Midland day. But while we are here, we should slow down and smell the roses as they are blowing past us!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Test results

I had my 9 month check up yesterday. The resuts were clear and I am now being moved to a six month check up already. My only problem is weight and a low white cell count. So my immune system is low. That explains why I am catching anything I am coming in contact with.

I have hair again althought I am keeping it short, especially on the top. Still get cold and still have tingley feet and no taste to speak of. But the implications could be alot worse so not complaining about it.

Biggest mental problem I have is that everytime I get sick or have an earache, I get worried about cancer rising up again. Will continue to go to doctor when I am sick and can't shake it. Weight is 135 pounds again. I get to this and then proceed to lose to 130. But again, it could be worse. So many are worse off than I am and I thank God for that and for you. My prayers include all of you each day as I continue this walk.

Still not into sweets. And like hot stuff and losts of liquid. Today is a day of salt. It justs depends on day to day. Am glad warm weather is here so I won't be so cold.

I have a Boy Scout do an Eagle project at the Midland Hope House. It is exciting to see that cancer patients will have benches to sit on and to admire the American Flag while staying at the new Hope House. Anything to help cancer patients relax a little in going through their treatments.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I am trying to catch up on home repairs that I did not do last year. Not sure why!!! ( you should be laughing).

Later all.....

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Not sure what else to post

This time last year I was in the hospital taking alot of drugs trying to get me from getting so bad.

Today, I am doing much (actually alot) better. I weight 134 pounds at this time. My energy level is getting better. I do anything I want to try.

Biggest problems today are: food still has not tasted right. Most chocolate is bad for me. Alot of bread still dries out my mouth, as does grapes and other fruits. My greasy hamburger has not made its way across my hands yet!! My feet still tingle. I spend time each night rubbing them. When they get cold, it gets worse. I have started letting my hair grown back out, but it is very slow. Primarily I have done it to try and keep my head warmer. It was 70 today and I had a jacket on! Beanies still rule my house right now!

I am currently having tests done on my heart and artries to see what effect the chemo and radiation have done to them. Unofficial results are very favorable.

My daughter, Sarah, has made a hard bound book of this blog. As I have started reading through it, I wonder how I made it. I knew it was bad, but did not realize it was that bad. But God and the power of prayer has do wonderful things in my life. As I have told people in my office, the Lord must have some use for me. I have a friend who lost his wife this last year and we go eat once a week. I have grandkids that I have to help. I have a Boy Scout Troop that I oversee. I have an ear for those who need to talk. And I pray alot. Not for me, but for those names come across my computer, phone, tv, by mouth. If prayer worked for me then it is the least I can do for others!

My next CT scan is in April. I approach each day with a newness. Each day that I wake up and realize that I can make a difference in someone's life. I smell the roses. I slow down to help others. Life is truly rewarding by helping others, whether they know you are doing it or not. It just makes the heart feel good!!

I'm not sure how many folks are still reading this blog. It has been a great relief for me to be able to expess my problems and conditons I have gone through. The comments have been God driven. Life is what we make of it. Are we willing to take the extra step to make a difference. I know each of you have done that for Lucille and me.

I will post once a month for a few more months. It is hard to truly say good-bye to this blog as it has meant so much to me. But it may be time to try something new. We'll see....

God Bless each of you this day... Steve

Thursday, February 4, 2010

One year ago

Hi gang -

A year ago today, I was now coming out of surgery thinking I had just lost a tonsil and found out that behind that tonsil was cancer. So started the process of getting set up to take care of this problem. My thoughts that day were that it seemed so unreal. I did not feel that hurt and while I knew it had to be taken care of, I wondered if it would just go away. The next few weeks were a whirlwind of doctor appointments to set the chemo and radiation process in motion. Little did I know what changes in my life as well as Lucilles, that this process was going to take us through.

Little did I know that over the next two months I would spend almost half of it in a hospital. Little did I know that I would not be able to work effectively, sleep well or keep up physically with the treatments. Little did I know how much power there is in prayer. Little did I know how much support was out there praying and supporting Lucille and me in this journey.

God has a way of using our problems to his advantage. The posting of this blog which has helped me. The posting of this blog which I understand through comments has helped so many others. The posting of this blog to see that with faith all things can be conquered. I know I would not be here today without the support and prayers from each and every one of you. Prayers and support have come from around the world. It just shows us how small the world really is. It has taught me that there is good in all people. And sometimes it takes something like this to draw folks together.

The sicker I got when going thru chemo the more prayers that were offered up. And the more support that was received. Wonderful people stepped up to keep my business going, to bring us meals, to making me caps (which I still wear today!), to bringing gifts of joy and blessings, to the phone calls and emails from people who we know and people who we did not know. And blessings from the folks (doctors and nurses) who took care of us. Without supporters cancer victims would have a really rough time making it through.

Dr Rastogi told us up front that I would be taking the treatments regardless of how sick I got as this was a curing treatment, not a maintiance treatment. There were days and nights that I wondered if I would survive. The treatments seems worse than the cancer. But again YOU always were there at the right time to pull me through!

As I started radiation, I had visions of going to Philmont Scout Ranch to backpack. But as my neck started to burn and I started losing alot of weight I realized that it was not to be. Again it was the joy of the boys in the Troop that helped me to continue. My family was always there, just like they are today, to take up the slack. Whether it was to sit with me while I was sick or to help take care of our home, I cannot forget the love and devotion of family. I think of Walker, our second grandson (who is now 3), who has alot of problems of his own. We compared port scars, and stomach tubes. He knew what I was going through. He had already been through it himself.

And then to the recovery. I thought July 3 I would be finished and everything would be good. I did not realize that it would take 3 weeks to get to the point that I would start the actual recovery process. And today I am still recovery.

Today, I can say "yes, I am a cancer survivor", and "yes, I owe where I am today to all those who have helped through support and prayers". I cannot ever say "THANKS" enough or give of myself enough to make up for the support and prayers. But then, that is what God expects of each of us, to help others without want of recognition. So I hope that God has blessed each of you in some way for your outpouring of love.

I mentioned a silver lining in this cloud somewhere in my previous blogs. I may never fully realize what the silver lining is but it might be: the help I have given others through this process, the compassion that I have because I now have walked in the shoes of a cancer victim, the deeping of my faith in God, the witnessing of my faith in God to others, the trust that one puts out there for others to see and reaps the rewards.

As of today, I am cancer free. I have another full round of tests in April. But actually I just live from day to day, trying to live each day to the fullest. Trying to give something back to others through witnessing. Trying to make a brighter day for someone who I may not know. Trying to slow down and smell the roses.

So while today has been somewhat tough on me, I know that tomorrow will come and another opportunity will come for me to help someone else. I thank you again and I know God is blessing each of again this day. Later Gang......

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Is it the end of January already?

Well, here it is the end of January already. I have gained weight up to 135 pounds and it seems to be staying with me!! The doctors will be happy!! At least my ribs aren't showing as bad.

My fingers are doing pretty well but my feet go into full sleep when they get too cold. It makes snow skiing pretty difficult! We skiied one day with Adam and it was pretty good. Everything stayed pretty warm but my feet went to sleep. In fact I got up from my office chair the other day and fell flat on my face as my foot went to sleep. OH well, it just makes life more interesting.

Needless to say, I stay wrapped up in a blanket when sitting at home and almost always have a jacket on at the office. We have used alot of fire wood so far this winter trying to keep the den warm. Too cheap to turn up the heat!!

My taste buds are coming back so slowly. Ice cream still does not have an appeal. Nor chocolate! I still like stuff that has liquid. I eat sandwiches with about 11 ounces of water to chase it down!!

Inow have a constant ringing in my ears. It is so silent when it stops. One of the problems with this cancer and the amount of chemo and radiation I had. Maybe part of the reason I can't hear as well.

I have started letting my hair grow back out. It is about a 1/4 inch all over. Some parts are black but I think it will end up white again! And don't think it is coming in any thicker!! But at least if I keep it short, then I don't have to worry about shampooing it every day and combing it! Just have to look to the good in everything! Will try to take a picture showing the length.

I think one of the hardest things about having cancer is that every time I have a ache or runny nose, I think "what if it is back?". I have more tests next week. February 4 is one year ago that I found out that I had throat cancer. More reflects on that when that date gets here.

I am back at work full time. My energy level gets better every day. It's a good thing with tax season rolling around. While life will not be the same as last year, I am sure there will be bumps along the road. But trust in God that all will be ok. Just have to find those silver linings.

Later gang.....

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A good day

Yesterday we had a memorial for my Dad who as you know, died from Alzheimer's. It was a wonderful service and I am grateful to First Christian Church for all their efforts. It was good closure for the family.

I have started letting my hair grow out some. I stay cold all the time so thought it might help if I had a little bit of a rug on my scalp! My fingers and especially my feet are still tingly and when I talk too much my mouth gets real dry. But this year has started out so much better than last year. Little did I know what was in store for Lucille and my family. I am certainly looking forward to a better year!

I lost my three pounds this last week, but will continue to eat. My strength gets a little better as does my energy level.

Don't know about ya'll but ready to get into the regular routine. I like the holidays but ready to get back to work and a regular schedule. I have a doctor's appointment this week with my regular doctor. Don't expect anything just a checkup.

Life brings alot of changes and suprises. Some will be good and others will be not so good. But we have to continue to live each day to the fullest. To keep taking a step and continuing to live. People depend on each one of us in one way or another. WE touch peoples lives that we don't even know about. So we have to keep taking those steps each days. We never know when our actions or workds will affect somene in a positive way. This is a great gift from God that we forget about sometimes. I know these past twelve months have taught me about the positive words and support we should do. If not for each and every one of you, I would not be doning this today.

Here's to a great week to walk with God and to do our small part in making a positive influence on someone.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone.

Since my last posting I have had my port removed and have celebrated a wonderful Christmas and a new beginning of a new year.

Had my port taken out on Dec 23. The doctor had to dig it out as my muscle was in the process of encapsulating it! But other than bruising, everything turned out great. I tried to get the doctors and nurses to let me keep the port, but couldn't have it. Was going to put it on my board of cancer remembered. Was told not to lift anything heavy for 3 weeks. Well I helped lay a sidewalk over new years and kinda exceeded the weight but I think all is ok!

Still have the same ole problems. Only new thing is a ringing in my ears. Today I weight 134 pounds. We'll see if it stays on this week. Ate like a pig over the holidays. Got new clothes that fit for Christmas. Now I really look skinny! LOL

I have alot to be thankful for considering what has happened this past year. I am thankful for all my friends who have supported and prayed for me this past year. I am thankful for all my caregivers for their support and love this past year. I am thankful to God for allowing me some more time on this earth. I intent to make the most of it this year!

My dad passed away on Dec 22 and I consider it a blessing. A memorial will be held this Saturday, Jan 9 at 10:30 am at First Christian Church in Midland. He had alzheimers.

The new year will bring it share of joys, sorrows and problems, but with God's help we can make it through. No new years resolutions, just going to try and live each day to the fullest. May God Bless each of you this day and every day of 2010.