Another week of treatments is gone. Three weeks (15 days) to go. Getting tired alot faster now and my mouth is starting to dry up to the point that it is getting hard to swallow. But in spite of that I had sausage, gravy and an egg for breakfast. I continue to supplement my feeding tube and as bad as I did not want it, it will be a life saver. I am losing my voice more each day. I guess the good news is now I don't have to talk if I don't want to!
Had some dry heeves around noon today. Not sure what caused it but feel a little better now. Took a mid day nap for about an hour and will take another shortly.
My neck looks like a true redneck! What little skin and bones I have is now a great tan except it is just in the neck area. Looks kinda wierd. But when exposed to the sun, I notice it real quick as it is my skin being burned. No short sleeves this summer or collarless shirts.
As things get tougher, it seems someone comes thru at the right time to remind me that there is an end of this - July 3. And for all of you who have prayed, supported, called, given cards, I am most thankful.
My Boy Scout Troop is backpacking this weekend in Cloudcroft. Hopefully in the fall, I will have the strength to do a weekend backpack trip. And to do all the other chores I have had to put off since this started. I've had more people working on my home than all the years we have owned a home.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
3 1/2 weeks to go>>>>YEA
Good evening all..
I am now officially 3 1/2 weeks away from this last treatment. Up at 6am. Radiation at 7am and then chemo until about 3pm. Came home and slept for a couple of hours. Had fried eggs, sausage and gravy for breakfast. Have feed the tube for most of the day. Have felt tired but ok today.
Just trying to find something to eat that will go down. I can swallow but due to the dryness in my mouth, it has to be semi liquid. But can drink and swallow ok at this point. The light at the end of the tunnel can be seen and am approaching it one day at a time. Two more radiation treatments this week and 3 chemo treatments left. July 4th will really be a day to celebrate although it will take a couple of weeks past that to start feeling better.
So just have to take each day, not over extend myself, get plenty of rest and eat and drink. Lucille is trying hard to find food for me to eat. It is like a needle in a haystack. Some days are better than others. Tried a spicy soup tonight but it did not set well in my throat. I guess that is the evidence of a burned throat. But who knows what tomorrow will bring. Water is very soothing to the throat. Helps to keep it wet.
While I am still losing a little weight, we think it is somewhat under control. Hopefully we are able to stabilize it for the duration of this treatment.
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. We are more appreciative than ya'll will ever know. Later gang..
I am now officially 3 1/2 weeks away from this last treatment. Up at 6am. Radiation at 7am and then chemo until about 3pm. Came home and slept for a couple of hours. Had fried eggs, sausage and gravy for breakfast. Have feed the tube for most of the day. Have felt tired but ok today.
Just trying to find something to eat that will go down. I can swallow but due to the dryness in my mouth, it has to be semi liquid. But can drink and swallow ok at this point. The light at the end of the tunnel can be seen and am approaching it one day at a time. Two more radiation treatments this week and 3 chemo treatments left. July 4th will really be a day to celebrate although it will take a couple of weeks past that to start feeling better.
So just have to take each day, not over extend myself, get plenty of rest and eat and drink. Lucille is trying hard to find food for me to eat. It is like a needle in a haystack. Some days are better than others. Tried a spicy soup tonight but it did not set well in my throat. I guess that is the evidence of a burned throat. But who knows what tomorrow will bring. Water is very soothing to the throat. Helps to keep it wet.
While I am still losing a little weight, we think it is somewhat under control. Hopefully we are able to stabilize it for the duration of this treatment.
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. We are more appreciative than ya'll will ever know. Later gang..
Monday, June 8, 2009
Catch 22
It's Monday afternoon and I am totally wasted. Spent the weekend eating and sleeping but as this treatment gets deeper, I am finding that I cannot get enough rest. Got up this am, had radiation, came home and slept til around 11am. Went to the office and worked until 4pm, came home and slept for another hour or so. And while the sleep is good, I am not eating or drinking enough. It is a catch 22 here. So tonight will be feeding the tube until I go to bed around 10.
Was told that my peach fuzz was out of control and had to shave today! And was told I have hair on the top of my head, which has not been the case in a number of years! But will keep it shaved for the balance of the summer.
Still able to swallow and eat semi solids. But the trick is finding something that is agreeable with my tongue and stomach. Four weeks left so have get with program to make it. Weight is big concern right now so have to stay with anything that has alot of calories.
Later..
Was told that my peach fuzz was out of control and had to shave today! And was told I have hair on the top of my head, which has not been the case in a number of years! But will keep it shaved for the balance of the summer.
Still able to swallow and eat semi solids. But the trick is finding something that is agreeable with my tongue and stomach. Four weeks left so have get with program to make it. Weight is big concern right now so have to stay with anything that has alot of calories.
Later..
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Eat, sleep, eat, sleep
Feed the tube. It seems my mission in life at this point is feed the tube. I am able to eat some stuff. But not enough so feed the tube has taken on a new priority. I have 4 weeks left. I am still able to swallow and drink. The roughest part of the day is first thing in the morning. My throat is so dry that I have to really lubricate it! But it is responding at this point. Yesterday day I had sausage and gravy and this morning I had sausage, gravy and eggs. But now feeding the tube again at noon. It does a number on my stomach and the only pills that are working are the ones that knock me out. So for the last couple of days, I feed the tube, take a pill and sleep. Not sure how I will handle this for four weeks, but Rocky has told me I will get to the end.
Lucille keeps fixing meals that I don't eat. But being the supporting spouse that she is, the meals keep on coming. The meals are becoming more liquid although I still want to something semi solid to chew. But I'm sure the total liquids are coming. The metal taste I had early on is starting to come back so will be dealing with that issue for the balance of the treatment.
The good news is that in 20 more treatments, I will be finished and able to start the total road to recovery. I thank God that I have been able to get this far as I know I could not have done it by myself. With your prayers and God's broad back I will get through this. Thanks again to each of you for your prayers and support. Later....
Lucille keeps fixing meals that I don't eat. But being the supporting spouse that she is, the meals keep on coming. The meals are becoming more liquid although I still want to something semi solid to chew. But I'm sure the total liquids are coming. The metal taste I had early on is starting to come back so will be dealing with that issue for the balance of the treatment.
The good news is that in 20 more treatments, I will be finished and able to start the total road to recovery. I thank God that I have been able to get this far as I know I could not have done it by myself. With your prayers and God's broad back I will get through this. Thanks again to each of you for your prayers and support. Later....
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Just trying to get my calories///
Well thought today would be a breeze. Yea right!!
Had radiation this morning and then worked too much today. Haven't felt too bad until around 5pm when my body said I had overdone it! So will have to really tone down my work load and make sure I take it easy. They tell me the hardest part of this treatment is ahead.
Tried to eat tonight. Did not work. But ate onions and bell peppers with olive oil. Don't think there are too many calories there! So will ensure tonight to get calories up some. I really thought I would be able to eat today since I did not have chemo this week. How soon one forgets how long it truly takes chemo to exit the system. But will continue to try and eat. And to FEED THE TUBE!
I am getting more used to this foreign object in my stomach. I know it will not be protruding from my body any longer than necessary.
But the good news is my attitude is much better today and my thinking is getting back on track. Biggest problem is pacing oneself to not get overextended. And my problem is that I feel good and keep going far too long. So for the next couple of months I HAVE to make myself stop even is I don't feel like it! Easier said than done!!!
I would like all of you to say a special prayer tonight for Jim Adams. He is 85 years old and one of my dear friends and he is in the hospital on a breathing tube. He continues to write to me and now he is the one who needs help. I would appreciate your prayers for him.
God has been carrying me this last week and today I put my footprints by his. What a great feeling to know that he is always here for us. We just have to pay attention and have the faith that he will be here regardless. Nite all....
Had radiation this morning and then worked too much today. Haven't felt too bad until around 5pm when my body said I had overdone it! So will have to really tone down my work load and make sure I take it easy. They tell me the hardest part of this treatment is ahead.
Tried to eat tonight. Did not work. But ate onions and bell peppers with olive oil. Don't think there are too many calories there! So will ensure tonight to get calories up some. I really thought I would be able to eat today since I did not have chemo this week. How soon one forgets how long it truly takes chemo to exit the system. But will continue to try and eat. And to FEED THE TUBE!
I am getting more used to this foreign object in my stomach. I know it will not be protruding from my body any longer than necessary.
But the good news is my attitude is much better today and my thinking is getting back on track. Biggest problem is pacing oneself to not get overextended. And my problem is that I feel good and keep going far too long. So for the next couple of months I HAVE to make myself stop even is I don't feel like it! Easier said than done!!!
I would like all of you to say a special prayer tonight for Jim Adams. He is 85 years old and one of my dear friends and he is in the hospital on a breathing tube. He continues to write to me and now he is the one who needs help. I would appreciate your prayers for him.
God has been carrying me this last week and today I put my footprints by his. What a great feeling to know that he is always here for us. We just have to pay attention and have the faith that he will be here regardless. Nite all....
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
NO CHEMO TODAY
Hi all..
Thought I had turned a short corner yesterday. Was feeling pretty good all day. Drinking and pushing food through the tube. Then 6pm hit and I got thirty minutes of dry heeves and was wasted for the night. Word spreads so by the time I got to the radiation and chemo everyone knew what kind of shape I was in. Dr Rastogi decided I needed to have a week off from chemo so just got hydrated and had some drugs (knocked me out). So I should have a few good days before next Wednesday before diving head long into the last 3 weeks.
My frame of mind has not been good the last several days to say the least. The doctors say that is to be expected as the hardest part of this treatment is the last several weeks. So I will really be watching myself in terms of eating, drinking and resting. And trying to work a little in there somewhere. My blood counts are still good and that pleased the doctor and another part that pleased the doctors was that I was still able to swallow and the back of my throat was not rare - yet!.
As of tomorrow Lucille and I have been married 38 years. Not much of an anniversary present this year! Nor was her birthday! Supporters in this process do not get the support and help they need to help their partners. Please keep her in your prayers.
And to answer the comment about my looks. That picture was taken without a couple of hours after surgery! Guess I should have straightened myself up some! (laugh here people). I will post a happier picture in the next couple of days! I really look better than that!
Still shooting for the July 3 final treatment date! Then, according to Rocky - whom I meet this morning) I have about 2 weeks to get over everything and start the long road of my body fixing itself, getting my strength and energy back. So I think I have 19 days of radiation and 3 chemo treatments left! The light is at the end of the tunnel. Just have to keep my emotions in check, my chin up, my attitude in the right place and giving everybody hell ( what I normally do!).
Rocky was another God send today as he stayed to talk with me after I had radiation. I great guy who I needed to talk to. My silver lining - not sure what it is at this point. I spent the night trying to find it but evidently God has not shown it to me yet.
I am thankful for all of you in your prayers and support. God has sent each of you to us for a reason. And to him and you I am most thankful. This just would not have been possible without ya'll. You will just never know. I will try and get back to a normal daily writing. Thanks again and God Bless Each of You....
Thought I had turned a short corner yesterday. Was feeling pretty good all day. Drinking and pushing food through the tube. Then 6pm hit and I got thirty minutes of dry heeves and was wasted for the night. Word spreads so by the time I got to the radiation and chemo everyone knew what kind of shape I was in. Dr Rastogi decided I needed to have a week off from chemo so just got hydrated and had some drugs (knocked me out). So I should have a few good days before next Wednesday before diving head long into the last 3 weeks.
My frame of mind has not been good the last several days to say the least. The doctors say that is to be expected as the hardest part of this treatment is the last several weeks. So I will really be watching myself in terms of eating, drinking and resting. And trying to work a little in there somewhere. My blood counts are still good and that pleased the doctor and another part that pleased the doctors was that I was still able to swallow and the back of my throat was not rare - yet!.
As of tomorrow Lucille and I have been married 38 years. Not much of an anniversary present this year! Nor was her birthday! Supporters in this process do not get the support and help they need to help their partners. Please keep her in your prayers.
And to answer the comment about my looks. That picture was taken without a couple of hours after surgery! Guess I should have straightened myself up some! (laugh here people). I will post a happier picture in the next couple of days! I really look better than that!
Still shooting for the July 3 final treatment date! Then, according to Rocky - whom I meet this morning) I have about 2 weeks to get over everything and start the long road of my body fixing itself, getting my strength and energy back. So I think I have 19 days of radiation and 3 chemo treatments left! The light is at the end of the tunnel. Just have to keep my emotions in check, my chin up, my attitude in the right place and giving everybody hell ( what I normally do!).
Rocky was another God send today as he stayed to talk with me after I had radiation. I great guy who I needed to talk to. My silver lining - not sure what it is at this point. I spent the night trying to find it but evidently God has not shown it to me yet.
I am thankful for all of you in your prayers and support. God has sent each of you to us for a reason. And to him and you I am most thankful. This just would not have been possible without ya'll. You will just never know. I will try and get back to a normal daily writing. Thanks again and God Bless Each of You....
Monday, June 1, 2009
a long 4 days
I think I am back among the living this Monday morning. It has been a long four days. Another surgery, another recovery period. I do not remember anything on Thursday afternoon, including posing for these pictures! Dr Patel came in around 4 and showed everyone, including me, the pictures of the surgery and I have no memory of it!
I slept most of weekend. Starting using this tube and figuring out how it works. I can drink 11 oz of liquid but cannot seem to stomach more than 4 oz of it being pushed thru a tube. Go figure!
It seems every time I move my stomach reacts to the movement and causes some pain and discomfort. Suppose to go away in a few days. It is very strange seeing a tube hang from your stomach knowing that it connects directly to the stomach. I will spend this week getting the hang of using this tube to supplement my eating. My tongue is still not cooperating with my eating. As long as I drink constantly, the back of my throat stays somewhat moist, thereby allowing me to swallow. And that is most important at this stage.
The days are running together. But as of Wednesday, I have 30 days to finish this treatment. Can't imagine it getting harder, but know that it will.
Talk to everyone later......
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