May 22 was my 60th birthday. Considering all the events of a year ago, I am grateful to be celebrating it. Spent the day working on master bath. A shower leak has become a full blown redo.
I have pushed myself the past couple of weeks with work and home repairs. Needless to say, I am not back to 100%. But don't know of any other way to get energy back than to get with the life of living. Just have to take a little longer to get reenergized! The fact I am even able to do these things is a tribute to God and to all the prayers given on my behalf.
I cannot over emphaize the power of prayer. For folks who not believe in it, I feel sorry for. I am what I am today through the power of prayer. I continue to ask for blessing for each of you each day.
I am maintaining my current weight of 135 pounds. Even got up to 137 for about 24 hours!! Food still does not taste good for the most part. Trying to take a spoonful of honey each day. It is said to bring back the taste buds faster. We'll see. It is worth trying. My feet are still tingling and massage them on a regular basis. My fingers still have some tingling although it is rare now. I have graduated to short sleeve shirts and one less blanket at night. I started working out some in hopes of improving my endurance and energy.
Last year at this time I was finishing up my final chemo and about half way through radiation. I have my radiation mask by my office door that serves as a constant reminder of (as if I needed one) what I went through. It's funny how one forgets about the sickness part after awhile. But when I sit and think about the process, it all comes back. I don't do that very often. No sense in it. Life is about tomorrow and moving forward. History is to learn from. And I thank God for carrying me through all the tough times. And I will thank him for all the good times. Too often we do not give credit to God for the good times. We tend to think we do the good things ourselves. We are deceiving ourselves when that happens. God is with us always, both in good times and bad times. I'm just glad I have let him into my life. I know my faith has increases multiple folds this last year.
Hope eveyone has a great week. I know I will!! Later gang.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
just another day
Well, I had my first official haircut yesterday. Lucille said I looked like a hippie!! And to think that a year ago I was without hair!
Weight is now 130 pounds. If I drop below that I will be in trouble. Problem is that food really doesn't interest me and needless to say the taste is not there. The hotter the better!
I finally do not have to wear my beanie to bed every night! Still cover up so maybe by the end of the summer I will not have to have 3 blankets on me every night!
As I sat on one of the benches that an Eagle Scout candidate made for the Hope House Cancer Home, I reflected on the past year especially this time last year. It was comforting to sit there knowing that I made it through with the help of doctors, nurses and the power of prayer from all those who prayed for me. Every time I go past Allison Cancer Center I offer up a prayer for those who are there. There isn't enough praying for all those folks.
The day is hot and the wind is blowing. A typical Midland day. But while we are here, we should slow down and smell the roses as they are blowing past us!!
Weight is now 130 pounds. If I drop below that I will be in trouble. Problem is that food really doesn't interest me and needless to say the taste is not there. The hotter the better!
I finally do not have to wear my beanie to bed every night! Still cover up so maybe by the end of the summer I will not have to have 3 blankets on me every night!
As I sat on one of the benches that an Eagle Scout candidate made for the Hope House Cancer Home, I reflected on the past year especially this time last year. It was comforting to sit there knowing that I made it through with the help of doctors, nurses and the power of prayer from all those who prayed for me. Every time I go past Allison Cancer Center I offer up a prayer for those who are there. There isn't enough praying for all those folks.
The day is hot and the wind is blowing. A typical Midland day. But while we are here, we should slow down and smell the roses as they are blowing past us!!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Test results
I had my 9 month check up yesterday. The resuts were clear and I am now being moved to a six month check up already. My only problem is weight and a low white cell count. So my immune system is low. That explains why I am catching anything I am coming in contact with.
I have hair again althought I am keeping it short, especially on the top. Still get cold and still have tingley feet and no taste to speak of. But the implications could be alot worse so not complaining about it.
Biggest mental problem I have is that everytime I get sick or have an earache, I get worried about cancer rising up again. Will continue to go to doctor when I am sick and can't shake it. Weight is 135 pounds again. I get to this and then proceed to lose to 130. But again, it could be worse. So many are worse off than I am and I thank God for that and for you. My prayers include all of you each day as I continue this walk.
Still not into sweets. And like hot stuff and losts of liquid. Today is a day of salt. It justs depends on day to day. Am glad warm weather is here so I won't be so cold.
I have a Boy Scout do an Eagle project at the Midland Hope House. It is exciting to see that cancer patients will have benches to sit on and to admire the American Flag while staying at the new Hope House. Anything to help cancer patients relax a little in going through their treatments.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. I am trying to catch up on home repairs that I did not do last year. Not sure why!!! ( you should be laughing).
Later all.....
I have hair again althought I am keeping it short, especially on the top. Still get cold and still have tingley feet and no taste to speak of. But the implications could be alot worse so not complaining about it.
Biggest mental problem I have is that everytime I get sick or have an earache, I get worried about cancer rising up again. Will continue to go to doctor when I am sick and can't shake it. Weight is 135 pounds again. I get to this and then proceed to lose to 130. But again, it could be worse. So many are worse off than I am and I thank God for that and for you. My prayers include all of you each day as I continue this walk.
Still not into sweets. And like hot stuff and losts of liquid. Today is a day of salt. It justs depends on day to day. Am glad warm weather is here so I won't be so cold.
I have a Boy Scout do an Eagle project at the Midland Hope House. It is exciting to see that cancer patients will have benches to sit on and to admire the American Flag while staying at the new Hope House. Anything to help cancer patients relax a little in going through their treatments.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. I am trying to catch up on home repairs that I did not do last year. Not sure why!!! ( you should be laughing).
Later all.....
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Not sure what else to post
This time last year I was in the hospital taking alot of drugs trying to get me from getting so bad.
Today, I am doing much (actually alot) better. I weight 134 pounds at this time. My energy level is getting better. I do anything I want to try.
Biggest problems today are: food still has not tasted right. Most chocolate is bad for me. Alot of bread still dries out my mouth, as does grapes and other fruits. My greasy hamburger has not made its way across my hands yet!! My feet still tingle. I spend time each night rubbing them. When they get cold, it gets worse. I have started letting my hair grown back out, but it is very slow. Primarily I have done it to try and keep my head warmer. It was 70 today and I had a jacket on! Beanies still rule my house right now!
I am currently having tests done on my heart and artries to see what effect the chemo and radiation have done to them. Unofficial results are very favorable.
My daughter, Sarah, has made a hard bound book of this blog. As I have started reading through it, I wonder how I made it. I knew it was bad, but did not realize it was that bad. But God and the power of prayer has do wonderful things in my life. As I have told people in my office, the Lord must have some use for me. I have a friend who lost his wife this last year and we go eat once a week. I have grandkids that I have to help. I have a Boy Scout Troop that I oversee. I have an ear for those who need to talk. And I pray alot. Not for me, but for those names come across my computer, phone, tv, by mouth. If prayer worked for me then it is the least I can do for others!
My next CT scan is in April. I approach each day with a newness. Each day that I wake up and realize that I can make a difference in someone's life. I smell the roses. I slow down to help others. Life is truly rewarding by helping others, whether they know you are doing it or not. It just makes the heart feel good!!
I'm not sure how many folks are still reading this blog. It has been a great relief for me to be able to expess my problems and conditons I have gone through. The comments have been God driven. Life is what we make of it. Are we willing to take the extra step to make a difference. I know each of you have done that for Lucille and me.
I will post once a month for a few more months. It is hard to truly say good-bye to this blog as it has meant so much to me. But it may be time to try something new. We'll see....
God Bless each of you this day... Steve
Today, I am doing much (actually alot) better. I weight 134 pounds at this time. My energy level is getting better. I do anything I want to try.
Biggest problems today are: food still has not tasted right. Most chocolate is bad for me. Alot of bread still dries out my mouth, as does grapes and other fruits. My greasy hamburger has not made its way across my hands yet!! My feet still tingle. I spend time each night rubbing them. When they get cold, it gets worse. I have started letting my hair grown back out, but it is very slow. Primarily I have done it to try and keep my head warmer. It was 70 today and I had a jacket on! Beanies still rule my house right now!
I am currently having tests done on my heart and artries to see what effect the chemo and radiation have done to them. Unofficial results are very favorable.
My daughter, Sarah, has made a hard bound book of this blog. As I have started reading through it, I wonder how I made it. I knew it was bad, but did not realize it was that bad. But God and the power of prayer has do wonderful things in my life. As I have told people in my office, the Lord must have some use for me. I have a friend who lost his wife this last year and we go eat once a week. I have grandkids that I have to help. I have a Boy Scout Troop that I oversee. I have an ear for those who need to talk. And I pray alot. Not for me, but for those names come across my computer, phone, tv, by mouth. If prayer worked for me then it is the least I can do for others!
My next CT scan is in April. I approach each day with a newness. Each day that I wake up and realize that I can make a difference in someone's life. I smell the roses. I slow down to help others. Life is truly rewarding by helping others, whether they know you are doing it or not. It just makes the heart feel good!!
I'm not sure how many folks are still reading this blog. It has been a great relief for me to be able to expess my problems and conditons I have gone through. The comments have been God driven. Life is what we make of it. Are we willing to take the extra step to make a difference. I know each of you have done that for Lucille and me.
I will post once a month for a few more months. It is hard to truly say good-bye to this blog as it has meant so much to me. But it may be time to try something new. We'll see....
God Bless each of you this day... Steve
Thursday, February 4, 2010
One year ago
Hi gang -
A year ago today, I was now coming out of surgery thinking I had just lost a tonsil and found out that behind that tonsil was cancer. So started the process of getting set up to take care of this problem. My thoughts that day were that it seemed so unreal. I did not feel that hurt and while I knew it had to be taken care of, I wondered if it would just go away. The next few weeks were a whirlwind of doctor appointments to set the chemo and radiation process in motion. Little did I know what changes in my life as well as Lucilles, that this process was going to take us through.
Little did I know that over the next two months I would spend almost half of it in a hospital. Little did I know that I would not be able to work effectively, sleep well or keep up physically with the treatments. Little did I know how much power there is in prayer. Little did I know how much support was out there praying and supporting Lucille and me in this journey.
God has a way of using our problems to his advantage. The posting of this blog which has helped me. The posting of this blog which I understand through comments has helped so many others. The posting of this blog to see that with faith all things can be conquered. I know I would not be here today without the support and prayers from each and every one of you. Prayers and support have come from around the world. It just shows us how small the world really is. It has taught me that there is good in all people. And sometimes it takes something like this to draw folks together.
The sicker I got when going thru chemo the more prayers that were offered up. And the more support that was received. Wonderful people stepped up to keep my business going, to bring us meals, to making me caps (which I still wear today!), to bringing gifts of joy and blessings, to the phone calls and emails from people who we know and people who we did not know. And blessings from the folks (doctors and nurses) who took care of us. Without supporters cancer victims would have a really rough time making it through.
Dr Rastogi told us up front that I would be taking the treatments regardless of how sick I got as this was a curing treatment, not a maintiance treatment. There were days and nights that I wondered if I would survive. The treatments seems worse than the cancer. But again YOU always were there at the right time to pull me through!
As I started radiation, I had visions of going to Philmont Scout Ranch to backpack. But as my neck started to burn and I started losing alot of weight I realized that it was not to be. Again it was the joy of the boys in the Troop that helped me to continue. My family was always there, just like they are today, to take up the slack. Whether it was to sit with me while I was sick or to help take care of our home, I cannot forget the love and devotion of family. I think of Walker, our second grandson (who is now 3), who has alot of problems of his own. We compared port scars, and stomach tubes. He knew what I was going through. He had already been through it himself.
And then to the recovery. I thought July 3 I would be finished and everything would be good. I did not realize that it would take 3 weeks to get to the point that I would start the actual recovery process. And today I am still recovery.
Today, I can say "yes, I am a cancer survivor", and "yes, I owe where I am today to all those who have helped through support and prayers". I cannot ever say "THANKS" enough or give of myself enough to make up for the support and prayers. But then, that is what God expects of each of us, to help others without want of recognition. So I hope that God has blessed each of you in some way for your outpouring of love.
I mentioned a silver lining in this cloud somewhere in my previous blogs. I may never fully realize what the silver lining is but it might be: the help I have given others through this process, the compassion that I have because I now have walked in the shoes of a cancer victim, the deeping of my faith in God, the witnessing of my faith in God to others, the trust that one puts out there for others to see and reaps the rewards.
As of today, I am cancer free. I have another full round of tests in April. But actually I just live from day to day, trying to live each day to the fullest. Trying to give something back to others through witnessing. Trying to make a brighter day for someone who I may not know. Trying to slow down and smell the roses.
So while today has been somewhat tough on me, I know that tomorrow will come and another opportunity will come for me to help someone else. I thank you again and I know God is blessing each of again this day. Later Gang......
A year ago today, I was now coming out of surgery thinking I had just lost a tonsil and found out that behind that tonsil was cancer. So started the process of getting set up to take care of this problem. My thoughts that day were that it seemed so unreal. I did not feel that hurt and while I knew it had to be taken care of, I wondered if it would just go away. The next few weeks were a whirlwind of doctor appointments to set the chemo and radiation process in motion. Little did I know what changes in my life as well as Lucilles, that this process was going to take us through.
Little did I know that over the next two months I would spend almost half of it in a hospital. Little did I know that I would not be able to work effectively, sleep well or keep up physically with the treatments. Little did I know how much power there is in prayer. Little did I know how much support was out there praying and supporting Lucille and me in this journey.
God has a way of using our problems to his advantage. The posting of this blog which has helped me. The posting of this blog which I understand through comments has helped so many others. The posting of this blog to see that with faith all things can be conquered. I know I would not be here today without the support and prayers from each and every one of you. Prayers and support have come from around the world. It just shows us how small the world really is. It has taught me that there is good in all people. And sometimes it takes something like this to draw folks together.
The sicker I got when going thru chemo the more prayers that were offered up. And the more support that was received. Wonderful people stepped up to keep my business going, to bring us meals, to making me caps (which I still wear today!), to bringing gifts of joy and blessings, to the phone calls and emails from people who we know and people who we did not know. And blessings from the folks (doctors and nurses) who took care of us. Without supporters cancer victims would have a really rough time making it through.
Dr Rastogi told us up front that I would be taking the treatments regardless of how sick I got as this was a curing treatment, not a maintiance treatment. There were days and nights that I wondered if I would survive. The treatments seems worse than the cancer. But again YOU always were there at the right time to pull me through!
As I started radiation, I had visions of going to Philmont Scout Ranch to backpack. But as my neck started to burn and I started losing alot of weight I realized that it was not to be. Again it was the joy of the boys in the Troop that helped me to continue. My family was always there, just like they are today, to take up the slack. Whether it was to sit with me while I was sick or to help take care of our home, I cannot forget the love and devotion of family. I think of Walker, our second grandson (who is now 3), who has alot of problems of his own. We compared port scars, and stomach tubes. He knew what I was going through. He had already been through it himself.
And then to the recovery. I thought July 3 I would be finished and everything would be good. I did not realize that it would take 3 weeks to get to the point that I would start the actual recovery process. And today I am still recovery.
Today, I can say "yes, I am a cancer survivor", and "yes, I owe where I am today to all those who have helped through support and prayers". I cannot ever say "THANKS" enough or give of myself enough to make up for the support and prayers. But then, that is what God expects of each of us, to help others without want of recognition. So I hope that God has blessed each of you in some way for your outpouring of love.
I mentioned a silver lining in this cloud somewhere in my previous blogs. I may never fully realize what the silver lining is but it might be: the help I have given others through this process, the compassion that I have because I now have walked in the shoes of a cancer victim, the deeping of my faith in God, the witnessing of my faith in God to others, the trust that one puts out there for others to see and reaps the rewards.
As of today, I am cancer free. I have another full round of tests in April. But actually I just live from day to day, trying to live each day to the fullest. Trying to give something back to others through witnessing. Trying to make a brighter day for someone who I may not know. Trying to slow down and smell the roses.
So while today has been somewhat tough on me, I know that tomorrow will come and another opportunity will come for me to help someone else. I thank you again and I know God is blessing each of again this day. Later Gang......
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Is it the end of January already?
Well, here it is the end of January already. I have gained weight up to 135 pounds and it seems to be staying with me!! The doctors will be happy!! At least my ribs aren't showing as bad.
My fingers are doing pretty well but my feet go into full sleep when they get too cold. It makes snow skiing pretty difficult! We skiied one day with Adam and it was pretty good. Everything stayed pretty warm but my feet went to sleep. In fact I got up from my office chair the other day and fell flat on my face as my foot went to sleep. OH well, it just makes life more interesting.
Needless to say, I stay wrapped up in a blanket when sitting at home and almost always have a jacket on at the office. We have used alot of fire wood so far this winter trying to keep the den warm. Too cheap to turn up the heat!!
My taste buds are coming back so slowly. Ice cream still does not have an appeal. Nor chocolate! I still like stuff that has liquid. I eat sandwiches with about 11 ounces of water to chase it down!!
Inow have a constant ringing in my ears. It is so silent when it stops. One of the problems with this cancer and the amount of chemo and radiation I had. Maybe part of the reason I can't hear as well.
I have started letting my hair grow back out. It is about a 1/4 inch all over. Some parts are black but I think it will end up white again! And don't think it is coming in any thicker!! But at least if I keep it short, then I don't have to worry about shampooing it every day and combing it! Just have to look to the good in everything! Will try to take a picture showing the length.
I think one of the hardest things about having cancer is that every time I have a ache or runny nose, I think "what if it is back?". I have more tests next week. February 4 is one year ago that I found out that I had throat cancer. More reflects on that when that date gets here.
I am back at work full time. My energy level gets better every day. It's a good thing with tax season rolling around. While life will not be the same as last year, I am sure there will be bumps along the road. But trust in God that all will be ok. Just have to find those silver linings.
Later gang.....
My fingers are doing pretty well but my feet go into full sleep when they get too cold. It makes snow skiing pretty difficult! We skiied one day with Adam and it was pretty good. Everything stayed pretty warm but my feet went to sleep. In fact I got up from my office chair the other day and fell flat on my face as my foot went to sleep. OH well, it just makes life more interesting.
Needless to say, I stay wrapped up in a blanket when sitting at home and almost always have a jacket on at the office. We have used alot of fire wood so far this winter trying to keep the den warm. Too cheap to turn up the heat!!
My taste buds are coming back so slowly. Ice cream still does not have an appeal. Nor chocolate! I still like stuff that has liquid. I eat sandwiches with about 11 ounces of water to chase it down!!
Inow have a constant ringing in my ears. It is so silent when it stops. One of the problems with this cancer and the amount of chemo and radiation I had. Maybe part of the reason I can't hear as well.
I have started letting my hair grow back out. It is about a 1/4 inch all over. Some parts are black but I think it will end up white again! And don't think it is coming in any thicker!! But at least if I keep it short, then I don't have to worry about shampooing it every day and combing it! Just have to look to the good in everything! Will try to take a picture showing the length.
I think one of the hardest things about having cancer is that every time I have a ache or runny nose, I think "what if it is back?". I have more tests next week. February 4 is one year ago that I found out that I had throat cancer. More reflects on that when that date gets here.
I am back at work full time. My energy level gets better every day. It's a good thing with tax season rolling around. While life will not be the same as last year, I am sure there will be bumps along the road. But trust in God that all will be ok. Just have to find those silver linings.
Later gang.....
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A good day
Yesterday we had a memorial for my Dad who as you know, died from Alzheimer's. It was a wonderful service and I am grateful to First Christian Church for all their efforts. It was good closure for the family.
I have started letting my hair grow out some. I stay cold all the time so thought it might help if I had a little bit of a rug on my scalp! My fingers and especially my feet are still tingly and when I talk too much my mouth gets real dry. But this year has started out so much better than last year. Little did I know what was in store for Lucille and my family. I am certainly looking forward to a better year!
I lost my three pounds this last week, but will continue to eat. My strength gets a little better as does my energy level.
Don't know about ya'll but ready to get into the regular routine. I like the holidays but ready to get back to work and a regular schedule. I have a doctor's appointment this week with my regular doctor. Don't expect anything just a checkup.
Life brings alot of changes and suprises. Some will be good and others will be not so good. But we have to continue to live each day to the fullest. To keep taking a step and continuing to live. People depend on each one of us in one way or another. WE touch peoples lives that we don't even know about. So we have to keep taking those steps each days. We never know when our actions or workds will affect somene in a positive way. This is a great gift from God that we forget about sometimes. I know these past twelve months have taught me about the positive words and support we should do. If not for each and every one of you, I would not be doning this today.
Here's to a great week to walk with God and to do our small part in making a positive influence on someone.
I have started letting my hair grow out some. I stay cold all the time so thought it might help if I had a little bit of a rug on my scalp! My fingers and especially my feet are still tingly and when I talk too much my mouth gets real dry. But this year has started out so much better than last year. Little did I know what was in store for Lucille and my family. I am certainly looking forward to a better year!
I lost my three pounds this last week, but will continue to eat. My strength gets a little better as does my energy level.
Don't know about ya'll but ready to get into the regular routine. I like the holidays but ready to get back to work and a regular schedule. I have a doctor's appointment this week with my regular doctor. Don't expect anything just a checkup.
Life brings alot of changes and suprises. Some will be good and others will be not so good. But we have to continue to live each day to the fullest. To keep taking a step and continuing to live. People depend on each one of us in one way or another. WE touch peoples lives that we don't even know about. So we have to keep taking those steps each days. We never know when our actions or workds will affect somene in a positive way. This is a great gift from God that we forget about sometimes. I know these past twelve months have taught me about the positive words and support we should do. If not for each and every one of you, I would not be doning this today.
Here's to a great week to walk with God and to do our small part in making a positive influence on someone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
